The accuser and the accused…(insert Law & Order theme music)
Ok in the present day of Pacman Jones’ troubles, Vick’s dog fighting indictments, and anything stupid Mike Tyson does (we havent heard from him in a while), the Pirates are accusing the Rockies of the felonious crime of “stealing signs” after being swept yesterday at PNC Park! Ok there’s a news story that should help CBS’ evening news ratings! How many times have teams been accused of this “crime” in the past? Has a team ever been punished for this “crime” before? No, it’s simply a part of the game. I’m not saying the Rockies stole anything other than 3 games from the Pirates but if your catcher is dumb enough to show signs the other team can steal then you should lose. That would be like parking your car (whether it’s a Lexus or a Yugo) in a Wal-Mart parking lot with the doors open and the keys inside, it’s gonna get stolen!!!
Apologies to Wal-Mart for the reference, even though I hate Wal-Mart.
In case number 7-18, Rockies vs Pirates, your Honor I present to you item number 1 for exhibit as evidence that the Rockies did not commit the crime being brought against them here today.
Item number 1 is that the Pirates are horrible! They haven’t finished above .500 in the last 14 years! They’ve been a joke to baseball fans in Western Pennsylvania and the National League as a whole. And when you’re as bad as this team has been for so long, you look for any excuse to make yourself not take a look in the mirror at why you’re so bad.
Item number 2, the city of Pittsburgh itself. Other than the Steelers winning the Superbowl 2 years ago and the rise of superstar Sidney Crosby for the Penguins, Pittsburgh doesnt really care about the Pirates. Since the Killer B’s of Bonds, and Bonilla, and further back with the days of Willie Stargell has the city really embraced the Pirates. Sure they got a new stadium built in PNC Park and a statue of Roberto Clemente out front, but what we’re talking about is there past, their history. Right now the only history the Pirates are making is that of being a really bad team and organization.
With these two items as evidence I in defense of the Rockies would ask that the court clear the Rockies of these false accusations and in turn would like to file a countersuit against the Pittsburgh Pirates for fraud and deception of appearing as a major league baseball team, when really they’re just a Triple A baseball team with a Double A management and front office at best.
Someone wake me when the Pirates and their organization make it to the Major Leagues and the rest of the world cares.
Only 3 days before we announce the winner of our first ticket giveaway!
2 tickets (section 207, row 9 seats 1 & 2) to the Tuesday July 24th game against the NL West division foe San Diego Padres
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